Tony-Man vs Lady Thor

A Lady Thor?!  That's unpossible!

It was announced on the view that the Marvel mainstay and icon known as Thor is going through some major changes.  And one such major change is that he, is no longer a he.  But rather a She.  There is of course a lot of controversy over this change, and while I can certainly understand on a purist level that this can be unsettling, or even maddening, my question is really, "what took them so long?"  Let's think about this from a comic book standpoint.  Spider-Man has both a Spider-Woman and a Spider-Girl, Iron Man has Rescue, Hulk has She-Hulk, Batman has Batgirl, Superman as Supergirl, Magneto has Polaris, and there are many different examples both in the Marvel Universe, and in the DC universe.  And while yes many of these female characters originally started off as their male counterpart's female doppelgangers and little more, most of these characters have evolved into their own unique entity and have become rather successful.  (I mean Hell... even Deadpool got a Lady Deadpool.  Go figure that shit out.)

I want to make something clear.  I am not a big Thor fan.  I don't have any especial dislike for him.  He's powerful, he's inspiring, he can do many amazing things easily.  He's arrogant, he obviously has a swagger about him, he's faced many impossible odds and has come out on top, but in my opinion... he's simply just not all that interesting of a character.  I think a lot of the reason why I simply just don't think he's all that interesting, is because of the way he looks and the way he comes across.  But now that I know that all of this is going to be put inside of a female shell, well it opens up new possibilities.

Just how will a female be able to use the power of Thor?  How will she cope with the struggle that many superheroes have to cope with, when she has to choose between humanity and godhood?  How will she view her former self once she has attained the power of Thor?

"But Tony-Man, the inscription of the head of Mjolnir clearly states Whoever holds this hammer if HE be worthy, shall possess the power of... THOR."

See?  Told ya.

So, okay.  Yes, I will not deny the fact that on the hammer of a Norse weapon, English words are written which seems to point to the fact that only men can be worthy.  And if we lived in a world where there was no gray area, I'd be inclined to agree.  And yes, there was the time when Jane Foster held the hammer and became worthy and changed into Thordis... which at the time I felt was novelty gimmicks and lazy writing... but when thinking about it now in a retrospect, while the events that occurred during the whole Thordis saga, if it could really be called that... I had to refer back to the evolution of the English language.

I don't know much about other languages or how the words in such languages coincide with one another, but over the course of the English language, especially with pronouns, masculine pronouns have usually always described people or things in general whether they were masculine in nature or not.  As society became lazier, masculine pronouns have all but lost their masculinity for something a bit more gender-neutral.  After all typing or even saying "his or her" just feels cumbersome and it muddles up the flow of conversation or written script.  Over time, "he" simply became an acceptable convention when referring to an unknown person, while "his" became an acceptable convention for describing an unknown person's belonging.

Which brings us back to a Lady Thor.  Does Thor really need a lady counterpart?  Not really... It is going to be interesting to see what will happen, because unlike Batgirl, Rescue, Polaris, and Spider-Girl and the other female counterparts.  I'm working on the assumption that this particular Lady Thor is not a separate entity from Man Thor... but Lady Thor is going to BE Thor ...as a lady.  With lady parts and everything.  All I know is that if Lady Thor becomes enamored by a Jim Foster, or something like that, I'm going to throw the bullshit card out there.

As I said before, I'm not particularly a Thor fan, but the prospect of a Lady Thor (or whatever they're going to call her) is an intriguing and fascinating one, and one that I certainly hope pans well for the Thor galaxy in the Marvel Universe.  Me?  I'mma stick with my Lady Deadpool, Atcha cha cha cha!

Tony-Man plays One Night Ultimate Werewolf

I hope I don't get a werewolf... Arooooo!

It feels like forever since I've done an actual review on something that I actually like!  And while I know people have been asking, "Where's the July 4th editorial?"  Here's what I have to say on that.  Fuck the July 4th editorial!  I don't like the fireworks, I don't like the obligatory cookouts and our inflated sense of bullshit entitlement, I don't like the noise.  I do like the freedom, and the day off from work.  The End.

But, on July 4th, I did get to play a game that I actually really enjoy.  But before I go on, let me tell you some things about me.  I am a gamer.  But most people when they think of the word "gamer" they have a tendency to limit themselves to video games.  Now, in a way, that is part of what being a gamer is... is playing video games.  But the entirety of gaming is memory games, its board games, its video games, its computer games, its gaming when you have no games in which to game with.  The thing I like about board games, role-playing games, and other such games as these that video games typically do not have, is a physical social interaction with other people.  That's where board games and role-playing games have a distinct advantage over video games.

One of my more favorite games that I've been hearing about and reading about before finally getting to play is a game called One Night Ultimate Werewolf.  The concept is pretty simple to understand.  Every player is dealt a role card that they should only look at once.  For those who were dealt a werewolf role, the object of the game is not to be killed.  For those who drew a villager, the object of the game is to kill at least one of the two werewolves.  Sounds easy enough, hmm?  Well... there are a few twists to the game that makes it more interesting.

There are some villagers who get to do special things.  For example, the Seer when prompted is allowed to look at one player's card, or two cards from the center pile.  The Troublemaker can exchange two other player's cards.  The Hunter can choose to kill any player he wishes if he is the one killed.  The Minion serves as a distraction for the werewolves, and will win if the minion is killed and both werewolves survive.  There are a couple other cards that have different roles, and other instructions, but you get the idea.

Gameplay is very simple and you can learn how to play the game by the first or second time you play.  If you download the app, it will walk you through everything.  The game plays in three phases: Sleep phase, Suspicion phase, and Kill phase.  The game plays anywhere from 3-10 people, and this is a game where the more people there are, the more fun you can potentially have.  When I played the game, there were three people and from there we had fun, but we all agreed that more people would have made the game better.

The Sleep phase is the simplest phase in the game, especially if you have the app downloaded.  The Sleep phase consists of two parts, which are knowing your role and closing your eyes.  Each player is dealt out a card that has the particular role on it that the player assumes.  When prompted to close your eyes, each player closes their eyes.  Then prompts will go out to those who have drawn the werewolves, and the special villagers.  Once every player with a special role has gone, you will be prompted to open their eyes and the Sleep Phase is complete.

The Suspicion Phase comes next.  In this phase, all the players have a total of up to 10 minutes to try to figure out which player, or players are the werewolves.  Of course, the werewolves have up to 10 minutes to try not to be caught.  In this phase, the players can talk to the other players, try to figure out which roles have been dealt out, or even try to figure out if there even are any werewolves within the bunch.  This is the most fun part of the game and can lead to pretty interesting rationalizations, accusations, and psychological mind-fucks.  At the end of 10 minutes, or when all players are ready to vote, the Suspicion Phase is complete.

The last phase is the Kill phase.  After the Suspicion phase all players get to vote on who they think is the werewolf.  In the event of a tie, all players involved in the tie are considered to be killed.  In which case all players involved in the tie must reveal their card to figure out if they have killed the werewolf.  If at least one werewolf was killed, the villagers win.  If no werewolf was killed, the werewolves win.

One Night Ultimate Werewolf is a fun game that's also reasonably simple, but that's the beauty of it.  I encourage anyone who like bigger games but also short games such as this to play it at least once.  I know that I intend to play it more than once, hopefully with a bigger crowd.  Aroooooooo!

Tony-Man vs Gay Pride

Gay Pride Parade, Chicago, 2012

Before reading this blog, some of the comments, and sentences that are written below may be considered off-putting, and could inadvertently offend some friends of mine.  However, it is not my intent to offend anyone whether straight or gay.  If you are one such that offends easily, well you probably wouldn't be reading anything I write anyway, but I would advise not to read this particular post.

With that out of the way, let's get this trainwreck a'rollin.  I personally don't understand the LGBT community as a whole.  I don't really understand the need for parades, I don't understand why in the last fifteen to twenty years, gay people in general have been really all "in your face" about their homosexuality.  I don't really understand why gay people feel like they have a sense of entitlement.  Now, to be fair, I don't really understand why racists, atheists, Christians, feminists, or really most people who belong in certain religious or political groups feel they have a sense of entitlement either... but I've already looked under those rocks in the past.

Don't get me wrong.  I have no complaints on gay individuals, but in the interest of full disclosure, I was raised Southern Baptist.  I was taught that homosexuality is a sin, and that I should not associate with homosexuals.  And for a long time, I agreed with my Southern Baptist upbringing because one, at the time I didn't know any better, two; it made sense to me, because marriage at the time was to be a covenant between a man and a woman, it seems more natural.  Now that I'm older, and the nation is evolving, I've realized that gay, straight, bisexual, asexual, whatever... in the end we're all human beings.  I even have my share of gay friends and acquaintances since I decided that the narrow-minded stance of a 1990s Southern Baptist Church agenda probably wasn't the moral compass that I need to have in my life.  So, while I support the rights of the LGBT Community, and I'd like for them to get married, and I like for them to be treated as equals, I still don't get the parades, and the flamboyancy, and the rainbows, and some of the little nuances of Gay Pride itself.  I suppose I could blame it on the church and its indoctrination, but when it all comes down to it, I have to confess it on my own ignorance.

Flash forward to 2014, here I am, asking similar questions about why racism still exists, why poverty still exists, why the need to fight for animal rights, and why feminism still exists.  And while all of these things are unrelated to each other in many respects, each of these things really comes down to social incongruity.  For so long, we've accepted our social barriers because we haven't known any better.  Finally a group of people decided that something's not right with our society, and then take up a cause to fix things.  Sometimes, they are successful, and sometimes that which they set out to fix becomes counter-productive and end up making things worse.  Gay rights so far is on the right path to getting the equality that they feel they should have, and I personally agree that all people in America, and by extension all over the world should be treated equally and fairly.  But what happens if the fight doesn't end?  What happens if the rights of all Americans are trampled on in the name of equality?  Not to say that it's going to happen, I don't think the fight for gay equality is going to take that turn, but what if it does?

Maybe, that's just outside thinking.  But I wonder if anyone else has thought of it.  Getting back to my ignorance, I don't understand the myriad of gay people I guess... it's really less about the symbolism of gay pride and the LGBT, and more about the people.  For example, I have three people in the pod where I work who are gay.  All three of them are openly gay, and don't care if people know it.  But they don't act in a manner that's flamboyant.  They don't straight-bash, and they don't act in an overgeneralized gay way.  (Yes, I realize that there was really no way to describe them without being somewhat offensive, but if you thought that was bad...)  On the other side of it, I have several facebook friends who all they post is anti-straight posts, and just how incredibly gay they are, and they post up pictures of gay people in sexual/sensual positions, and they have no substance to their facebooks other than to reinforce how gay they are.  When I meet some of these people in real life, they are a walking personification about why I don't understand the LGBT community, and how off-putting they can be.  And maybe that's what I don't get.  And every time I speak with one of them, it's clear that I'm being judged for my ignorance, just as they're being judged for their hate of the straight person.

I suppose that my ignorance and my judgement can be called into question, but still... am I wrong for not understanding all the stuff that comes with gay pride?  Probably, and if so I can publicly acknowledge that while I support its agenda, I can support the struggle that they go through, I can support my gay and lesbian, and bisexual friends.  I just don't really understand the rainbows, and the flamboyancy, and the community as a whole.

So, yeah.  That's my take on that, Next time on the Infraggable Tony-Reviews, something perhaps a little less political, and... judgmental?  Sure, why not.

Tony-Man's Tribute to Casey Kasem

Zoinks! He's like the voice of the top 40 countdown!

Kemal Amin "Casey" Kasem (April 27, 1932 - July 15, 2014) was an American disc jokey, music historian, voice actor, actor, and was a genuinely good guy.  While he was probably best known for several radio shows, most notably the American Top 40, from 1970 until his retirement in 2009, he was also widely known as the voice of Norville "Shaggy" Rodgers of the Scooby-Doo franchise from 1969 to 1997 and again from 2002 to 2009.  Along side this, he provided the voice in many commercials, and had been several voices on Sesame Street. 

In 1971, he voiced Peter Cottontailin the Rankin/Bass production of "Here Comes Peter Cottontail."  He also voiced Robin from 1973 to 1985 oft he SuperFriends, and in 1980, he voiced Merry in "The Return of the King" animated movie.  He also voiced Alexander Cabot III in "Josie and the Pussycats"and "Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space."

Kasem was a devoted vegan, supporter of animal rights, and was a critic of factory farming.  He quit the role of Shaggy in 1995 when he was asked to voice Shaggy in a Burger King commercial.  He returned in 2002 when he negotiated to have Shaggy become a vegetarian.

Like most people in America, Casey Kasem had a hand in helping to shape my musical tastes.  Every week whenever I could, I would listen to the radio and listen to the American top 40, and I would always listen to his very recognizable, "guy next door" voice.  He wasn't exactly what I suppose we would consider a radio voice, but he was always pleasant, upbeat, and always had a charming demeanor.  He has also voiced one of the most beloved and long lasting characters in television history.  Casey Kasem was in my opinion truly one of America's treasures, and a hole has been left in his untimely death.  He was a man who despite his message of keep reaching for the stars, was very down to earth.  That was the sort of man I felt he was.

It's clear that Casey Kasem touched a lot of people's lives over the years, and inspired many of them to chase their dreams, and to be what they are destined to be.  As for me, I remember this man I never truly knew, and can't help but wonder what this world could be like if he hadn't graced it.

A Tribute to Bob Hoskins

I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way

Robert William "Bob" Hoskins (26 September 1942 - 29 April 2014) was an English actor known for playing Cockneys and gangsters.  He appeared and starred in movies and plays, and is best known for The Long Good Friday (1980), Mona Lisa (1986), Who Framed Roger Rabbit? (1988), Hook (1991), Super Mario Brothers (1993), Nixon (1995), A Christmas Carol (2009), Neverland (2011), and his final role, Snow White and the Huntsman (2012).

I never knew this man personally, I don't really know what his politics are, or what his religion was.  I don't even know whether or not he was a good man in life.  What I do know was that this gruff Englishman has a place in my heart for some of his more well-known roles he did.  He was Eddie Valiant in Who Framed Roger Rabbit, a man whose brother had been killed by a cartoon.  I remember that he was a gruff, and straight arrow in this movie.  A victim of circumstance.  A great performance, and certainly one that he should be proud of. 

I watched Hook for the first time in 1991, and I remember that while the movie itself was kind of so-so, Bob Hoskins and Dustin Hoffman had great chemistry together as Captain Hook and Mr. Smee.  The rest of the movie was a little bland, but watching Mr. Smee made it work.

In 1993, I watched the Super Mario Brothers Movie.  In a 2007 interview, Bob admitted that this movie was the worst thing he had ever done.  And while I agree with you there Bob, since the movie was rather shitty, It has gathered a cult following, and there have been way worse movies out there, since 1993.

Bob died of pneumonia on April 29, 2014.  He had retired from acting in 2012.  I still remember all the laughs, and the groans that your performances have given.  I have seen your best stuff, I have seen your worst.  I know that you have struggled, and you have clawed to get every ounce of respect that you have earned, and deserved.

So, Eddie Valiant, Mr. Smee, Mario Mario, and to all of your other memorable characters... thank you for all that you have given us.  You have been an inspiration to so many people.

Tony-Man and the Stick of Truth

So, it's time for the long awaited review of South Park: The Stick of Truth, but before I do, I do want to caveat a few things, as I normally do.

I've been an on-and-off fan of South Park.  I haven't seen every episode, and in fact, out of all of my friends, I've probably seen the least amount of episodes.  I do plan to rectify this, after playing and beating this game but as of now, I've probably only seen maybe 30 episodes of South Park, if even that many.

[Warning:  The following review contains minor spoilers.  Do not read ahead if you are playing this game, and/or plan to play, if you don't want to be spoiled.]

So what makes this game so awesome in my opinion?  The fact that it is a South Park Game, fashioned after older JRPGs is one thing.  But the fact that Trey Parker and Matt Stone had direct creative license in order to make the game look and feel as authentic to the South Park mythology as possible really blows me away.  It's like you are almost in a South Park Episode in many ways.

So, you play as a new kid, a silent protagonist known as the New Kid.  The arrival of the New Kid, sets off a prophecy in a LARP game similar to Dungeons and Dragons.  Almost as soon as the game starts, you help Butters "the Merciful" against a Drow Elf kid, and from there the adventure begins.  You are then introduced to the Grand Wizard Cartman, who tells you that the Humans of Kupa Keep, have in possession, the Stick of Truth, and that whoever controls the stick controls the universe.  The Drow Elves attack the humans of Kupa Keep, and they steal the Stick of Truth, and it is up to the New Kid, also known as Douchebag to return it.  And from there your destiny awaits you.

The battle system is pretty easy to learn, the tutorial fights are pretty entertaining, and learning magic is hilarious.  There is great humor in this game, and it's pretty much everything you expect from a South Park entity.  But the game play is rather smooth, and I find it to be a very legitimate RPG.  You get to fight alongside your favorite characters, like Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Butters, and Jimmy.  There are a lot of references to old South Park episodes, The South Park Movie, and even a couple of references to Baseketball and Team America, if you know where to look for them.  I mean, there is a lot of nostalgia when you play this game, especially if your a South Park aficionado.  Even Chef makes an appearance, but you'll have to know where to go in order to find him.

This game is awesome; however, if there was one complaint that I have (and let's face it as a reviewer, I'm always going to have at least one complaint,) it's that the game is a little on the short side.  And while yes, there are like 20 different side quests you can go on... the main quest line feels a little short.  Don't get me wrong, the game is awesome.  It's one of the best games I've played in some time, it just feels a little short to me.  I don't expect a whole Final Fantasy 50 hour game or anything like that, maybe I'm just spoiled by games like Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy that offers at least 20 hours of game time.  Still, if you decide you want to be a 100% completionist, this game has a lot of side stuff to do, and will keep you entertained.  I'm personally working on my second play through and I'm about 50% complete with everything (not including achievements for the XBox 360 version).

I frickin' love this game.  On a scale of one to Super Mega Awesome, I'm willing to give this game a Super Awesome.  It is that good, in my opinion.

Well, until next time, I have no idea what I'm going to review next, but it'll be a good one.

The Infraggable Tony-Review 3000 viewervaganza-palooza!

I honestly can't believe that there have been more than 3,000 views of this rinky-dink little blog of mine.  Thank you so very much for indulging me in this funny little muddle known as my review page.  So, allow me to provide just some introspective on my life as it stands now.

First, I guess I never expected myself to climb out of the hole I made for myself because of some really idiotic choices I've made in my past.  I never thought I'd find a job that's worth getting up for and working.  For the two or three of you who don't know, I've started working at T-Mobile, and there I'm making more money than I've made anywhere else (except for when I was Iraq and Afghanistan), and it's really helping me out with getting out of my debts.  In the short time I've been with T-Mobile, I've already paid off my 1300$ Verizon bill... which was a bullshit bill, but that's a story for some other time.  I still owe the IRS about $1250, but I sent in my tax return, so that should lessen that debt substantially.  And I still owe my old apartment complex some money for having to break my lease... but that's the debt I'm going to pay off last.  Still, all things considered, I could be doing much worse for myself.

I've finally achieved my goal of moving out of my parents place, and I'm now living in this pretty sweet condo by myself.  It has two bedrooms, two baths, a fully functioning kitchen.  A washer and a dryer, a serviceable dining area (which could benefit from a dining room table and chairs) and a relatively nice balcony.  A couple of friends of mine helped me move in last Sunday, and while it doesn't quite feel like a home yet, it is my place.  I have a place to rest my head, and a place to play my XBox... and really what else does a guy need?  Other than food, beer, and sex?  Nothing really.  Once I get really settled in, I will start inviting people to party.

I guess over all, things have been looking up for me.  I'm happy with where my life is at the moment, and I do see some pretty good things in the immediate future, but it hasn't been all sunshines and faerie farts.  Over the last week or so, I've been feeling very ill... but it really got bad about three days ago.  I woke up with a fever, and feeling nauseous, and dizzy... and I was throwing up.  Yesterday I felt a little better, until about an hour and a half before my shift ended.  Then I was feeling dizzy and light-headed again.  When I got home I had another bout to vomiting, and then again when I woke up.  As of right now, I'm feeling a lot stronger, but I know I still have a cold.  I know that I have a history of getting sick in April, so I know that this is supposed to be pollen allergies and all that, but I haven't felt this bad.  Maybe there's something wrong, but then again all of this could be tied to the next segment I'm about to explain.

I'm starting to realize that I actually have a lot of friends.  Some of these friends are really close to me, and some are new friends that could become really close to me.  Some of these friends are the very friends that I would fight for and die for should a situation come up.  But whatever the case may be with these friends of mine, I always try my best to help them out if I know that they're struggling with life.  Some of my friends are dealing with health issues, while some of them are stuck in emotional crisis, some of them have stalker ex-significant others, while still others are in the middle of family feuds.  I have friends who are in the hospital, some who are struggling to make ends meet.  Some who are probably just an insult or two away from suicide.  Everyone has their issues and their struggles to handle.  And mine is mostly a psychological issue.  I don't know why it is, but I always feel like I have to put on a super suit and help everyone who is going through something, even when I know that there is a good possibility I'll be ineffectual, or worse off, counter-productive.  I know that in many cases there is nothing I can do.  I know that sometimes, the best thing I can do is nothing, but I always feel like that when someone has something going on, I have to do something.  And then, when someone tells me that they don't want my help, I often feel like I'm not a good friend because they don't want me around.  Now... I know that sometimes, they're telling me this because they want to protect me, and they know just how emotionally and physically drained I can get, which also just accounts for why I always feel sluggish, or sick, or whatever... and I know this all stems from my psychological drive to want to help others, I just don't know how to take off the suit and just realize that not everyone can be saved, and not everyone wants to be saved, and not everyone feels like they should be.

Honestly, I don't even know I'm making any sense.

In any case, I hope that more people will stay apprised of this review blog, and hopefully next time it won't be quite so introspective.  I'm playing the new South Park RPG, and I gotta tell you, it delivers all the raunchy South Park stuff we've come to love over the last nearly two decades (If not longer) with an actual quality RPG platform.  But more on that, next time on The Infraggable Tony-Reviews!