{Original Post Date 22 December 2012}
Dick Clark, Twinkies, Gangnam Style, Mitt Romney, and Mayans. With all
of these signs in place... one would think that the signs were evident
that the end of the world would have been for real this time, right?
Well, not since the Y2K bug have we the people of Earth been so let down
for another hoax concocted by
evil-genius douche canoes. As a Christian Liberal of sorts, there is a
passage of scripture that says that only God knows the hour in which the
world will end. And take it for what its worth, but whether you
believe in the Christian God, Buddha, various Hindu Gods, or a billy
goat; whatever your beliefs are for the end of the world. I seriously
doubt it will be on a day that's publicly broadcast.
Having
said that, I do find it ironically hilarious for the people who did die
yesterday who truly believed that they died because it was the "end of
the world." I could only imagine what the conversation would be like
once these saps reached the gateway to their higher plane of
enlightenment. But, I'm admittedly sort of a dick that way. In this
world of ever changing standards of what beauty and grotesqueness is... I
find my brand of humor also evolving to show the cynicisms of the
situation. To the point that it becomes parody. After all,
observational humor really is just the truth as if put in front of a fun
house mirror. It's distorted, it's stretched and twisted a bit. It
expands or contracts, but at the heart of it... it's still the truth.
So, the end of the world didn't exactly pan out like most people were
thinking. The world didn't erupt in some fireball as a divine promise
from the heavens. The world didn't turn into zombies and began to
devour itself. (Though some could say, that this happened long before
yesterday, and will continue until there's nothing left.) It didn't
even freeze over. In fact, for me, yesterday was rather uneventful. I
continue to search in vain for a job, I continue to wonder when I'll
catch a break from life, and I continue to wonder if I'll ever meet a
woman to settle down for a few weeks, before she decides that a
relationship isn't what either one of us wants, then proceeds to date a
guy who's no good for her. (Which... seems to be a recurring issue.)
Still, I continue to wonder about America, and the end of the world.
We have churches teaching it's congregation that God hates the gays, God
hates the military, God hates the blacks, the whites, the Latinos, the
Asians, God hates the sinners, the children, the whatevers. I simply
don't believe that. I believe that God (or whatever higher power you
believe in) is an equal opportunity God. I think that hate is not
something that he practices. And while I'm on the subject; I'm sure
before the beginning, when God was writing his final draft of God's
plans... you know spell checking, and making sure that his grammar was
correct, and that trying to decide whether his plan should be in active
voice, or passive... you know, the nit-picking little shit that we all
have to concern ourselves about when we make up our papers... God
decided that he's going to sweat the big stuff, like the rotation of the
Earth, the moon and the tides. The temperature of the Earth and the
other planets. The rate of universal expansion. The creation of men,
and animals, and mountains and all that other crap... he has little time
to worry about Fatty McGee's weight problem. Little Johnny's
masturbation addiction, and the small stuff. With millions of prayers
going up to him every hour, you'll have to excuse him if most prayers
seem to go unanswered. If your prayer isn't answered... it probably
means that he doesn't want you fucking with his plans.
I
believe in God. I believe he cares about the things he creates. I
believe that he's mostly a benevolent God that wants great things for
us, and wants us to figure out what happiness is. At the same time, I
also feel that God is far more passive when it comes to individual lives
than most would like for him to. God gave us the ability to learn, and
reason, and figure shit out for ourselves... and that means that we
should know better than to think that he will advertise the end of the
world. So you think you're fat? Then put down the fork, and go to the
gym, and work out, fat ass. You think that you're not sexy enough?
Then change your appearance, make yourself more appealing, and stop
blaming the whores around you, who apparently know how to land a person
of whatever gender that they want. You think you're not going to amount
to anything? Find some motivation, get help, and do something with
your life. Life's problems that you take to God, or Santa Claus, or
Satan, or who ever will rarely be solved by these deities alone... or
ever. The end of the world is not an excuse to fuck off.
And
now, I believe I'll get off my hypocritically high horse, and renew my
search to find a job. I believe this will be the last "charged" issue
for me, at least for a little while.
Next time on The
Infraggable Tony-Reviews; The Infraggable Tony-Reviews vs. The Hobbit -
Why the movie isn't as great as everyone says it is.... and why it's
better.
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