The Rockuary: Walking Tall

Well... he is 6'5"...

With this being the fourth movie that Dwayne Johnson has gained some notoriety, is the movie Walking Tall.  And while it's not the worst thing in existence, or even the worst thing covered in "The Rockuary," this is a pretty shitty movie.  And while I'm not sure it's a shitty movie because of ol' DJ here, he didn't exactly save the movie.  Anyone who doubts the Rock's acting credentials could probably point at this movie and competently argue that the Rock should have stayed in World Wrestling Entertainment.  And they'd be right to say so.  The Rock; however, if nothing else, is a charismatic person.  He has this certain je nais c'qouis as people like to put it.  At this point, is The Rock the new Schwarzenegger?  ...well, no.  But that doesn't mean there are similarities between the two by now.

Especially early in his career, Arnold made his share of stinkers. (Anyone remember Red Sonja, Commando, and Raw Deal?) Walking Tall stands up as The Rock's first venture into cinematic putrefaction. (The Scorpion King wasn't awful, it was just plain silly.) This is a wretched motion picture, even considering that it isn't a member of a well-respected genre. The film is comprised of four violent action scenes tied together by nearly 50 minutes of alternately hilarious (unintentionally, of course) and dull filler. So we have the obligatory character-building scenes, not to mention an underdeveloped romance that serves no discernable purpose whatsoever. (Since this is a PG-13 movie, it's not even an excuse for a hot sex scene.)

And in my opinion, it's that this movie is PG-13 that really hurts this movie.  The character development in this movie is practically contrived and it feels very forced.  The romance is completely under-developed, and just seemed tacked on.  Ashley Scott plays the generic girlfriend.  Nice body, decent face, little if any dialogue.  None of it memorable, but considering the dialogue within the movie, this actually works to her favor.  Even the conflict between the Rock's character and Neal McDonough's character isn't all that interesting as this movie is very paint-by-the-numbers.  Let's just say that there's more drama, suspense, and tension at my parent's house during Christmas.

Fortunately, it isn't a total crapfest of "Why did I pay to see this movie."  There are several instances of unintentional hilarity.  The movie goes at a pretty brisk pace, and the action sequences, while PG-13'd, are amusing.  And The Rock is pretty much at the point of stardom at this point that it doesn't matter what he does.  People will love him.  So what probably could be a career-breaking movie, is more of a minor inconvenience for him.  This movie is certainly not the worst piece of crap that The Rock was in, and I understand it has a small cult following.

For me, I'm glad I saw this trouser stain of a movie, but it's certainly not one I keep on a bookshelf waiting for me to rewatch it.  You're totally welcomed to disagree with me, but as for myself.  From a scale of one to Super Mega Awesome, this movie rate as Dismally Poor.  Probably the worse movie rating I've given to a movie yet.

Next up on "The Rockuary" is another meh sort of movie.  "Be Cool."