Tony-Man and the Stick of Truth

So, it's time for the long awaited review of South Park: The Stick of Truth, but before I do, I do want to caveat a few things, as I normally do.

I've been an on-and-off fan of South Park.  I haven't seen every episode, and in fact, out of all of my friends, I've probably seen the least amount of episodes.  I do plan to rectify this, after playing and beating this game but as of now, I've probably only seen maybe 30 episodes of South Park, if even that many.

[Warning:  The following review contains minor spoilers.  Do not read ahead if you are playing this game, and/or plan to play, if you don't want to be spoiled.]

So what makes this game so awesome in my opinion?  The fact that it is a South Park Game, fashioned after older JRPGs is one thing.  But the fact that Trey Parker and Matt Stone had direct creative license in order to make the game look and feel as authentic to the South Park mythology as possible really blows me away.  It's like you are almost in a South Park Episode in many ways.

So, you play as a new kid, a silent protagonist known as the New Kid.  The arrival of the New Kid, sets off a prophecy in a LARP game similar to Dungeons and Dragons.  Almost as soon as the game starts, you help Butters "the Merciful" against a Drow Elf kid, and from there the adventure begins.  You are then introduced to the Grand Wizard Cartman, who tells you that the Humans of Kupa Keep, have in possession, the Stick of Truth, and that whoever controls the stick controls the universe.  The Drow Elves attack the humans of Kupa Keep, and they steal the Stick of Truth, and it is up to the New Kid, also known as Douchebag to return it.  And from there your destiny awaits you.

The battle system is pretty easy to learn, the tutorial fights are pretty entertaining, and learning magic is hilarious.  There is great humor in this game, and it's pretty much everything you expect from a South Park entity.  But the game play is rather smooth, and I find it to be a very legitimate RPG.  You get to fight alongside your favorite characters, like Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Butters, and Jimmy.  There are a lot of references to old South Park episodes, The South Park Movie, and even a couple of references to Baseketball and Team America, if you know where to look for them.  I mean, there is a lot of nostalgia when you play this game, especially if your a South Park aficionado.  Even Chef makes an appearance, but you'll have to know where to go in order to find him.

This game is awesome; however, if there was one complaint that I have (and let's face it as a reviewer, I'm always going to have at least one complaint,) it's that the game is a little on the short side.  And while yes, there are like 20 different side quests you can go on... the main quest line feels a little short.  Don't get me wrong, the game is awesome.  It's one of the best games I've played in some time, it just feels a little short to me.  I don't expect a whole Final Fantasy 50 hour game or anything like that, maybe I'm just spoiled by games like Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy that offers at least 20 hours of game time.  Still, if you decide you want to be a 100% completionist, this game has a lot of side stuff to do, and will keep you entertained.  I'm personally working on my second play through and I'm about 50% complete with everything (not including achievements for the XBox 360 version).

I frickin' love this game.  On a scale of one to Super Mega Awesome, I'm willing to give this game a Super Awesome.  It is that good, in my opinion.

Well, until next time, I have no idea what I'm going to review next, but it'll be a good one.

The Infraggable Tony-Review 3000 viewervaganza-palooza!

I honestly can't believe that there have been more than 3,000 views of this rinky-dink little blog of mine.  Thank you so very much for indulging me in this funny little muddle known as my review page.  So, allow me to provide just some introspective on my life as it stands now.

First, I guess I never expected myself to climb out of the hole I made for myself because of some really idiotic choices I've made in my past.  I never thought I'd find a job that's worth getting up for and working.  For the two or three of you who don't know, I've started working at T-Mobile, and there I'm making more money than I've made anywhere else (except for when I was Iraq and Afghanistan), and it's really helping me out with getting out of my debts.  In the short time I've been with T-Mobile, I've already paid off my 1300$ Verizon bill... which was a bullshit bill, but that's a story for some other time.  I still owe the IRS about $1250, but I sent in my tax return, so that should lessen that debt substantially.  And I still owe my old apartment complex some money for having to break my lease... but that's the debt I'm going to pay off last.  Still, all things considered, I could be doing much worse for myself.

I've finally achieved my goal of moving out of my parents place, and I'm now living in this pretty sweet condo by myself.  It has two bedrooms, two baths, a fully functioning kitchen.  A washer and a dryer, a serviceable dining area (which could benefit from a dining room table and chairs) and a relatively nice balcony.  A couple of friends of mine helped me move in last Sunday, and while it doesn't quite feel like a home yet, it is my place.  I have a place to rest my head, and a place to play my XBox... and really what else does a guy need?  Other than food, beer, and sex?  Nothing really.  Once I get really settled in, I will start inviting people to party.

I guess over all, things have been looking up for me.  I'm happy with where my life is at the moment, and I do see some pretty good things in the immediate future, but it hasn't been all sunshines and faerie farts.  Over the last week or so, I've been feeling very ill... but it really got bad about three days ago.  I woke up with a fever, and feeling nauseous, and dizzy... and I was throwing up.  Yesterday I felt a little better, until about an hour and a half before my shift ended.  Then I was feeling dizzy and light-headed again.  When I got home I had another bout to vomiting, and then again when I woke up.  As of right now, I'm feeling a lot stronger, but I know I still have a cold.  I know that I have a history of getting sick in April, so I know that this is supposed to be pollen allergies and all that, but I haven't felt this bad.  Maybe there's something wrong, but then again all of this could be tied to the next segment I'm about to explain.

I'm starting to realize that I actually have a lot of friends.  Some of these friends are really close to me, and some are new friends that could become really close to me.  Some of these friends are the very friends that I would fight for and die for should a situation come up.  But whatever the case may be with these friends of mine, I always try my best to help them out if I know that they're struggling with life.  Some of my friends are dealing with health issues, while some of them are stuck in emotional crisis, some of them have stalker ex-significant others, while still others are in the middle of family feuds.  I have friends who are in the hospital, some who are struggling to make ends meet.  Some who are probably just an insult or two away from suicide.  Everyone has their issues and their struggles to handle.  And mine is mostly a psychological issue.  I don't know why it is, but I always feel like I have to put on a super suit and help everyone who is going through something, even when I know that there is a good possibility I'll be ineffectual, or worse off, counter-productive.  I know that in many cases there is nothing I can do.  I know that sometimes, the best thing I can do is nothing, but I always feel like that when someone has something going on, I have to do something.  And then, when someone tells me that they don't want my help, I often feel like I'm not a good friend because they don't want me around.  Now... I know that sometimes, they're telling me this because they want to protect me, and they know just how emotionally and physically drained I can get, which also just accounts for why I always feel sluggish, or sick, or whatever... and I know this all stems from my psychological drive to want to help others, I just don't know how to take off the suit and just realize that not everyone can be saved, and not everyone wants to be saved, and not everyone feels like they should be.

Honestly, I don't even know I'm making any sense.

In any case, I hope that more people will stay apprised of this review blog, and hopefully next time it won't be quite so introspective.  I'm playing the new South Park RPG, and I gotta tell you, it delivers all the raunchy South Park stuff we've come to love over the last nearly two decades (If not longer) with an actual quality RPG platform.  But more on that, next time on The Infraggable Tony-Reviews!