Thursday, April 11, 2013
Tony-Man vs Wrestlemania 29
If you smelllll-ell-ell-ell-ell-ell-eeeeell... what the Tony-Man... is cookin' *Eyebrow raise.* So another Wrestlemania is in the books, another Showcase of the Immortals behind us, another Grandest Stage of them All is in the past, and what does the Infraggable Tony-Man think about this Wrestlemania? Well... this year seemed to lack in comparison to the last couple of Wrestlemanias. Wrestlemania is pretty much the the Superbowl of Wrestling, the Stanley Cup, the World Series, the ...whatever basketball's big thing. It's the biggest deal, and it is supposed to be the biggest thing. Every Wrestler is looking for that amazing moment that defines them and set the pace for them for the next year. And in some rare cases, it defines their entire career. They call instances like these "Wrestlemania moments." Wrestlemania 29 really didn't have too many moments like this.
The pre-show focused on the Miz vs. Wade Barrett (c), For the Intercontinental Championship, and I gotta say, even though the match only lasted six minutes and thirty three seconds, I think it was probably my third favorite match. Then again, I've been a fan of the Miz for a long time. He's one of the few people that I feel is comfortable being a heel or a face. (Heel being an unpopular wrestler, or more commonly a "bad guy" and Face being a popular wrestler, or more commonly a "good guy.") I liked this match because of its simplicity. The Miz won with a figure four leg lock. Probably the reason why I liked this match was because I like both the Miz and Wade Barrett. They're similar in their arrogance, but worlds apart in their wrestling styles. But... save for how the figure four was applied, the match was nothing Wrestlemania worthy. It just seemed almost like a match that could have been on WWE Superstars.
The first actual carded match was The Shield (Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Roman Reigns) vs. Big Show, Randy Orton, and Sheamus. I'm... I'm not really sure what to say about this one, other than how predictable it was going to be. This match was boring, and this was probably the show that was supposed to be on the pre-show. The match was pretty much a paint by the numbers type match, and there wasn't anything that really may it spark. I'm not even a big fan of Randy Orton. He's a good wrestler, perhaps even a great one, but to me he's just sort of meh. Randy Orton does not make a good face. He should one day, and hopefully soon, turn heel. The match was just a bore.
The second match featured Mark Henry and Ryback. All I can say is... what the fuck? This match was utter crap. Which is too bad, because there was so much potential here. At eight minutes and three seconds, there could have been so many unstoppable force vs. immovable object kind of moments, but no. There was nothing that could have been considered a Wrestlemania moment there. Mark Henry is 400+ pounds, and Ryback tried to pick him up, but then they both fell, and Ryback lost the match? Come on now. Then after the match, Ryback picks Mark Henry again and gives him the Shell Schocked. What the fuck? What the fuck? Come on.
The third match was Team Hell No, vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston (with AJ Lee). I have to admit I did kind of like this match, but it was a little too predictable. I knew that Team Hell No would win, though to be honest, I do kind of hope that they go their separate ways soon. The match started much like Daniel Bryan's last Wrestlemania match did. With AJ Lee kissing someone. While last Wrestlemania, she kissed Daniel Bryan, just before losing to Sheamus in eighteen seconds. This year AJ kissed Dolph Ziggler, and Daniel Bryan tried to take advantage of that, with a near fall pin attempt. The chemistry between Daniel Bryan and Kane was seamless, and while the two of them had a near flawless plan, there wasn't anything Wrestlemania worthy. Don't get me wrong, it was a solid match, one that could have been Main Event calibur of Raw or Smackdown, but nothing that had a true Wrestlemania feel to it.
The fourth match was Fandango versus Chris Jericho. I'm going to be honest with this one. I didn't see this match on account that I was outside smoking. Having been mostly disappointed with Wrestlemania up to this point, I figured that this match would be disappointing again. It's Wrestlemania for Wrestlemania's sake! The only thing that I really caught from it was one of Fandango's Top rope leg drops. Which was amazing and beautiful to look at. Otherwise, I didn't get to see it.
The fifth match was Alberto Del Rio (c) (with Richardo Rodriguez) vs. Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colture) for the World Heavyweight Championship. And this match wasn't memorable at all. I honestly can't even remember this match. I know that Alberto Del Rio won, and he did it using the Cross Armbreaker, but other than that. I don't remember this match at all. That's all Wrestlemania 29 for you.
The sixth match was one that kept my interest. It was the major reason why I watched Wrestlemania. It's in many ways, one the major reason why Wrestlemania works and has been so successful for as long as it has is because it was the Undertaker. The Undertaker has had a Wrestlemania streak of 20 wins and 0 losses. That's unheard of in the Wrestlemania scene. This year The Undertaker was fighting against CM Punk, on account of the death of Paul Bearer, who was the Undertaker's manager and "father." This was a personal battle one that few could boast of. And really, this was the first match that I thought, "This is Wrestlemania." The emotion, the maneuvers, the show of disrespect from CM Punk, especially when he went "Old School" on the Undertaker! What?! ....WHAT?! WHAAAT?! That was awesome! They went back and forth, and honestly, I didn't know what was going to happen. This match was the Reign versus the Streak, and by the end of the match, I didn't know who I wanted to win. And I would have been happy either way. But at the end, it was the Undertaker going to 21-0. Whew!
The seventh match was a grudge match between Brock Lesnar and Triple H. And I have to say, after seeing the CM Punk/Undertaker match, even with this match being a no holds barred match, I felt that it lacked the usual sort of carnage that Triple H and Brock Lesnar are usually capable of. It wasn't a bad match, and I would even venture to say that it was near Wrestlemania class, but for some reason It just didn't grab my attention like the previous match did. There were some good moments, such as when Triple H put the Kimura lock on Brock Lesnar not once, not twice, but three times. Which is ironic, since it was Brock Lesnar who broke Triple H's arm, twice with the very same move. But, other than this turn of moves, and the involvement of Shawn Michaels and Paul Heyman... there wasn't anything really interesting about this match.
The eighth and final match involved John Cena (c) versus Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson for the WWE Championship. And... well, what can I say about this match? It had a few interesting moments, but other than that, I felt that it was a real rehash of the year before. Most of the moves, and story within the match were similar to Wrestlemania 28. Which was billed as "Once in a Lifetime." And seeing this particular match, it becomes clear why it was supposed to remain once in a lifetime. It was a good match, don't get me wrong on this one, but sometimes less is more, and I felt that there was just too much going on in this match that took away from it being the sparking match that last year's match had been. Also, The Rock got injured during this match. I'm not really sure what it is, but I just didn't get into this match like I did last year's. But that might be due to a less satisfying set-up for an even more dismal payoff. Unlike last year, where I was truly invested to see what would happen.
Overall, this Wrestlemania just didn't feel like a Wrestlemania. It felt more like a glorified Raw or Smackdown. There were some great moments, but overall, I just didn't feel this Wrestlemania had the same punch as it should have had. The best part of course was the CM Punk / Undertaker match, while the worst was that bullshit Mark Henry / Ryback ending. I mean what the fuck? So Mark Henry's 400+ fat ass crushes Ryback, and you call that a fucking match? WRESTLEMANIA RAGE!!!!!
Anyway... next time on the Infraggable Tony-Reviews, I'll talk about what a great fucking week I've been having.
Fun fact: The word Wrestlemania appears in this Wrestlemania review 29 times.
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feel ya on this one was not that great good review
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