The Infraggable Tony-Man reviews "Warm Bodies"

Fellow readers of the Infraggable Tony-Reviews,

If there is anything that I love as much as gaming, it's zombies.  I'm not exactly sure what it is about zombies and the undead in general that really appeals to me.  My love of zombies and evil dead things comes from the movie "Evil Dead."  (And if you don't know what "Evil Dead" is... you have no business reading this blog, ever.)  Zombies are just so interesting.  They claw up from their graves, and roam the world in search of human brains to eat.  Some of them have full mobility, some of them can barely move.  They shamble around, driven by instinct, and are the things of nightmares.  Some zombies are dumb, some are supernaturally intelligent, some are meant for shock value, or even comedic relief.  And then there are some that makes us sympathetic toward their plight, such as the zombies in "Warm Bodies."  And the thing about zombie-ism is that anyone could be turned into a Zombie.  From the privileged, to the unfortunate,  To... this guy.

Because Zombama doesn't quite make sense.

So, when I watched "Warm Bodies" in the movie theater, I came into it with high hopes.  I had only seen the trailer, and it was enough to pique my curiosity about the movie, but not enough to break it.  Too often these days, the trailers that you see on TV gives too much away.  They can't seem to find the right balance.  So, when the "Warm Bodies" trailer came on, I was interested.  The story is largely concerned with a Zombie who is named "R", R because the zombie says via voice-over that all he can remember is that the first letter in his name is R, but he can't remember anything more than that.  R is played by Nicholas Hoult ("Beast" X-Men: First Class, "Jack" Jack the Giant Slayer) who is disillusioned by his zombie "lifestyle."  The zombies are classified into two types: Corpses and "boneys."  The Corpses are you're mostly human-like appearanced zombies.  The boneys are those who have had most of their flesh ripped off.  This comes into play later.

At the core of the movie, it is a romantic comedy, but it is done in such a great and moving way.  The female counter is a woman named Julie played by Teresa Palmer ("Steph McKinney" Wish You Were Here  "Number 6" I Am Number Four), who is part of the human survivors/resistance who is just trying to live her dismal life, and was put on a task team to gather supplies.  Julie has a boyfriend named Perry who gets killed and eaten during a raid in the outer city to gather up medical supplies.  And when R and Julie meet, a subtle change occurs in R, and instead of eating her, he takes her back to the airport, to an airplane that he considers his home, thus saving her life.

 

 

Love at first grunt...

Over the first half of the movie, there is great comedic timing, and fantastic pacing.  Nothing in the first half of the movie seems contrived, or forced.  The two of them try to get to know each other, while slowly but surely R becomes gradually more and more human like.  The change is slow, and barely noticeable at first, but there are some genuinely heart pulling moments in the movie.  But there are also a lot of subtle things about the movie that are honestly, and actually funny.  The movie actually has a good balance of romance, and comedy which makes this movie work.  It knows when to be serious, but it doesn't take itself too serious, and in my opinion, I think it's a fucking great thing.  And even though this movie keeps the tried and true story of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl sort of likes boy back, there is trouble, and make up at the end... "Warm Bodies" definitely brings a lot of new stuff that makes the story so fucking awesome.

While I could go into detail about how the movie was awesome (and believe me, it is,) Part of what made the movie so good was that I went to go see it in the theaters, and some of the funniest moments didn't actually come from the movie itself but from my friends, and the audience behind me.  There was a laugh-out-loud moment in the second half of the movie, and this one woman laughed like a cross between Woody Woodpecker, and that sound that Goofy makes when he's falling from a great distance (Aiiiiiir-hoo-hoo-hoo-weee!)  I had to admit, there were a few things that I simply didn't like about the movie.  Mind you they are nitpicky little things.

First of all, while I was completely invested in the two main characters, I don't think they could have been any more dumb, and contrived.  The entire movie has a very Romeo and Juliet vibe to it, and out character's names are R and Julie.  It's too fucking dumb to be considered coincidence.  In fact, a word to future movie makers.  Unless you're making Romeo and Juliet, please don't try to be clever by using any sort of off-shoot of the names.  Not only is it uninspired, but its been done to death.  Literally.

Second, I fail to believe that the settlement that the humans live could be so unprotected.  Okay, granted that there are checkpoints, and armed guard, and precautions.  But it all was for naught.  All it took was a secret passage, and well... that was pretty much it.

Last thing that really got to me was the appearance of the boneys.  They looked a lot like the mummies from The Mummy.  CGI has gotten better since those movies came out, but they looked pretty bad. 

But these are just nitpicking details, and really... if you don't think of stuff like that, and can sacrifice practical sense for the sake of story telling, "Warm Bodies" delivers what it promises, and it does it in spades.  The fact that I saw it with some of my friends was pretty awesome.  "Warm Bodies" is definitely a movie that you should check out.  This movie-going reviewer intends to see it at least one more time in the theater.

No eat.  *Chomp chomp.*

The Infraggable Tony-Man Team-up!

So, something strange happened to me a few days ago.  Something that happens to me once every five or six years.  I made a connection with a member of the opposite sex that is deeper than friendship.

Caveat: I've had girlfriends before.  But, it is rare that I have a girlfriend for any reason beyond doing the nasty.  Which is always fun, but hardly an investment.

Counting this current relationship, I would say that the number of women that I've invested in as a girlfriend as something that is emotionally satisfying as well as physically, is probably... four.  It's tough to really know what a girlfriend is supposed to do, really.  I mean, I know the basics.  They're supposed to be supportive, give love, and be the better half.  But when I think about it; I'm not so sure what it means to be the better half.  But I'm not sweating it.  I'm not sure what to expect from this, or even if it will last, but I know that I'm going to enjoy this new facet of my life, and maybe this is the spark that motivates me to fix other parts of my life.  Or maybe this is the final straw.  Who knows?  All I know is that I feel good, I feel like a 2013-appropriate amount of money  (I would say a million bucks, but with inflation, and the state of the economy, a million dollars isn't nearly as much money as it once was.)  I feel pretty awesome.

But with the feeling of awesomeness and all that, there also comes a certain amount of doubt.  With no job, no money, and all of that, I wonder if I can hold it together long enough.  Then I worry why I should worry and that I should just ride the wave.  Still, this girlfriend thing, hm?  It fucking rocks the proverbial socks.  That's all I really have to say on the matter... for now.  I wonder what's next in this funny little muddle called life.  I'm not really sure, but you know, I'm not going to sweat it too much, and I'll just see what happens between now and then.

The Infraggable Tony-Man vs Marvel™'s Magneto

Master of Magnetism, and of Wizards

I don't know what it is.  My favorite Comic superhero is none other than the web-slinger, Spider-Man himself.  (After all, if nothing else, Spider-Man is the reason why Tony-Man has a hypen in it.)  Spider-Man has a flip way of speaking.  He always doubts himself, he has many human vulnerabilities that we as a reader can sympathize with.  He wears a mask, to protect those that he loves, but also so he can deflect the fear that he has every time that the web head's life is threatened.  He knows that with great power comes yadda yadda yadda.  There is a great sadness that harbors in his heart, but it drives him to do good.  In a sense, Spider-Man could very well be more American than Captain America himself, who by Marvel's definition IS America.

But then, I get to thinking, that if Spider-Man embodies all the qualities of my favorite superhero... then why isn't Venom my favorite super villain, since Venom is by all account what Spider-Man could be if he ever gave into and became evil?  When I was younger, I really hadn't thought of Venom in that way, but now that I am thinking about it, I find myself looking to other super villains, and truly.  I think now my favorite comic book villain has to be Magneto.  Yes, he has something of a god complex.  Yes, he has done many things that can be considered crimes of humanity.  Yes, he's an extremist who wants to usher Homo Superior (mutants) into an age free from humanity, and to take what he perceives as their rightful place as the next evolutionary step... but there's something to be said about Magneto that makes him stand out.

The first thing is his origin.  We don't really know much of Erik "Magnus" Lensherr's upbringing.  What we do know is that the man now known as Magnus spent his early teens imprisoned with his family at the Nazi death camp in Auschwitz, Poland. The only member of his family to survive the camp, Magnus here learned how brutally human beings could treat minorities whom they considered different. After World War II Magnus married a woman named Magda and they had a daughter, Anya. When a mob prevented Magnus from rescuing Anya from dying in a fire, he used his powers to destroy them all in revenge.  With this in mind, it wasn't like Magneto had a good upbringing.  Sure Peter Parker's parents were killed when Peter was barely 4.  But, it can be agreed that Magneto's life had been pretty shitty for a majority of his years.  Not that this justifies his crimes against humanity, but there is an understanding of how a young man can be so shaped by the world.

The next important part about Magneto's character, is his relationship with Charles Xavier.  They were long time friends before they turned into enemies.  Eventually Magnus went to Israel, where he worked as a volunteer orderly at a psychiatric hospital and where he first met and became friends with Charles Xavier. Magnus and Xavier frequently debated the subject of mutants' coexistence with the rest of humanity. After the two men joined forces to rescue their friend Gabrielle Haller from Baron Strucker and his HYDRA agents, Magnus left for parts unknown. After being betrayed by the intelligence agents with whom he worked, Magnus began planning his campaign against the human race.  This dynamic shows that even with all that had happened between him and humanity, he did not automatically become evil and black-hearted.  Even though eventually he and Xavier became enemies, one such as Magneto can still have respect for his longtime friend.  This is very important and that in my opinion, it grounds Magneto and keeps him from being too cartoony, and too far from salvation.  That even as rivals, there is mutual respect from both Xavier and Magnus.

Powerful friends.... Powerful Enemies.

Lastly, Magneto's powers of magnetism is beyond measure.  Magneto is a mutant with the superhuman power to control magnetism. He can shape and manipulate magnetic fields that exist naturally or artificially. It is unclear, however, whether he must draw magnetic force from outside himself (if so, then he can do so over vast distances), or whether he can also generate magnetic force from within himself. Nor is it clear whether Magneto's power is psionic or purely physiological in nature.

Although Magneto's power is not on the level of the Silver Surfer in his prime, it is for all practical purposes limitless. Even before his rejuvenation, Magneto once lifted a cargo freighter weighing 30,000 tons 50 feet into the air from a distance of 300 feet away. Moreover, Magneto can use his magnetic powers in more than one way simultaneously. He can completely assemble a complicated machine within seconds through his powers. He can erect magnetic force fields with a high degree of impenetrability around himself for protection. Although Magneto often gestures when using his magnetic powers, he can utilize them fully even when standing totally still merely by concentrating.

Although Magneto's primary power is magnetism, he seems to have some ability to project or manipulate any form of energy that is related to magnetism. In the past he has fired a bolt of electricity, he has also created enough intense heat to destroy a metal door. Heat, or infrared radiation, is part of the electromagnetic spectrum, which also includes visible light, radio waves, ultraviolet light, gamma-rays, and x-rays. Magneto may be able to project any of these. He has also been shown creating an anti-gravity field, and presumably does so whenever he levitates a non-magnetic object. Hence, Magneto may be living proof of the long sought Unified Field Theory that all forms of energy are related. However, Magneto almost always uses only magnetism, so perhaps it is more difficult for him to manipulate other forms of energy.

In previous years Magneto has apparently exhibited powers of astral projection and telepathy, and has claimed to be able to control the minds of others. His abilities along these lines are minimal, however-enough, perhaps, to protect himself against mightier telepaths, but not of great use otherwise.

Magneto's ability to wield his superhuman powers effectively is dependent upon his physical condition. When severely injured, his body is unable to withstand the strain of manipulating groat amounts of magnetic forces.

Clearly, Magneto is amongst the most powerful mutants in the Marvel Universe, and with all of this, he has had plenty of experience in leadership, and he is charismatic, but he has also been vulnerable.  While he is powerful, he still exhibits traits that he is not invulnerable.  He is still guided by human-like emotions.  Anger, vengeance, envy, these things are apparent.  But underneath it all, he feels as a father, and wants to protect his fellow mutants, so that they do not have to go through their own personal Auschwitz.  He's not unlike any other father who wants to protect their children.  Perhaps he takes a few steps too extreme to achieve his intentions.  But seeing where his intents lie, perhaps one can't blame him.  Personally, I see him as a Black Crusader for Mutant Rights and Justice.  Then again, many villains in the Marvel Universe are products of their perception of the universe that is presented to them.

The moral of the story: Nazis ruin everything.